The Vegan Pill – The Straight Dope to Cure Your Schizophrenic Relationship With Animals

In North America, Europe, in fact most of the Western World we have a schizophrenic relationship with animals. Though most of have been smoking the opium of ignorance for so long we just can’t see through the haze.

What am I talking about? I’m talking about how we treat some animals as compared to how we treat others.

Take Rover for example, our faithful and loyal servant. Yes I used that word on purpose. He is our servant because he fetches things for us. We take him on walks when it suits us. We feed him when it suits us and we abandon him when it suits us.

I.e. Your rent just got increased and you need to move to a newer place. Oh geez, they don’t allow for pets. That’s okay, I’m sure a nice new “owner” will take him. And if you are lucky, because its your karma, a nice new family will take him and he’ll become their indentured servant.

Yeah we own animals, our pets and as such they are our servants. Cats have it even worse because they’re not very “friendly” and fawning like dogs are. Lots of people hate cats too, more so than dogs.

But this is not about companionship of animals with people. Though as a vegan I don’t believe in animal companionship or ownership at all. I still live with 4 cats and my feelings towards animal ownership i.e. companionship are based on philosophical leanings and as such I’m not very dogmatic about it.

Lots of folks have pets and lots of folks take good care of their pets. Most of them. I’d like to think a vast majority of pet owners are not only responsible, but loyal to their pets and they love them deeply.

And yet here is where our deep schizophrenia sets in in regards to animals. We love our dogs, cats, fish (god forbid we keep fish in small tanks) and birds (who should not be kept at all) as well as the other animals we invite into our lives for furry frolics and family feasties.

They’re arguably the lucky ones. The chosen few. The saved if you will. Perhaps as some of you good Christian folk out there might even consider them the chosen ones of the animal world. They offer us so much, get some back in return.

Yet while Rover sits salivating at our side at the dinner table we tear apart his porcine pal the pig. As he sits there hoping for scraps from our table and we pet him on his furry furrowed brow we slice and dice chicken giblets.

The turkey, duck, chicken and cow have feathered, furry and furrowed brows too. Theirs are right to be worried and furrowed as we lead them astray to our grisly dinner tray.

And yet, how many of you give any thought to this mental madness and the gaping gymnastics that allow you to shovel Bessy into your maw? Not many, and this is why vegans make up 1% or so of the population, so I’ve heard. Though frankly I think that’s absurd and it’s likely way less, even though vegan also helps us weigh less.

But these are weighty matters of the mind and not the muscle. This opium we smoke daily crushed from the blue pill of society’s mental illness. Is it not time we swallowed the red and put an end to the encroaching numbers of animal dead?

You see things more clearly when you’ve taken the red pill of veganism. You leave the opium den of death deceit behind you and the fog clears and you notice how the dog and cat and the cow and pig yearn for peaceful years.

There is the Golden Rule to live by and it is simply to do unto others and you’d have done unto you. Others are our brothers (and sisters) from different mothers, the same kingdom, animalia – mi familia.


This is a schizophrenia that can be cured. A mental ill that a compassionate mind can easily back fill. The lives you save are your own. The thread that binds us all is well known, its karma is better than any pharma for what ails ye.

6 thoughts on “The Vegan Pill – The Straight Dope to Cure Your Schizophrenic Relationship With Animals”

  1. Very good article, especially with Thanksgiving this month! The poor animals had nothing to be thankful for, except for there being vegans on this planet.

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